母 Mother
母は神のような存在だ。Mother is an existence like GOD.
誰しも母から生まれる。All are born from mother.
母は、生み、育て、みずからを犠牲にしてまで子を守る。Mother gives birth, brings up and protects her child with no hesitate of sacrificing herself.
ひたすら子の成長や成功を願い、大人になってもいつも心配してくれる。She purely wishes for the growth and success of her child even after her child becomes already adult.
乳児、幼児、小学校を経て中学、高校になると、だんだん「心を離すな」の時期になってくる。子供は親に反抗し、無茶苦茶な事も言う。でも、親は意に介しない。目的は子供を立派に自立させることだからだ。After going through infant, elementary school, junior then junior high period, child will gradually get into the age when mental contact becomes more important. Child goes defiant against parents and start spitting out swear words however parents will never care. Because the objective is to let their child to go independent.
自立した子は、時が来れば巣立ち、次のサイクルが始まる。幼稚な私は、親の気持ちを、自分が子供を持って初めて理解した。Once child stands up on its own, time comes to take off the nest, then next cycle starts. I myself was childish enough to understand parent's though only after I have child myself.
裕福な家に生まれた母は、数多くのお見合いの中で、ただ一人ピンと来た、父を選んだ。父の会社勤めは大成功だったが、薄給で、家計は母の予想通り苦しかった。My mother came from wealthy family. She went through lots of match making and chose my father, the only man who attracted her. My father got great success in career wise however household budget was very tight as my mother expected due to minimal salary he earned.
母は地方都市で生まれ、満州、津波、空襲、ギブミーチョコレートを経験。超努力家。当時は珍しい英文科卒。子供の手が少しかからなくなり始めると、ドイツ語も独学、ドイツ本国でのドイツ語教師免許や、英語通訳免許などを取得、教員免許とともに、私たち子供の教育資金を稼いでくれた。鈴鹿サーキットのバイク国際レースでドイツチームの通訳、大使館での日本語教師、夜間高校での英語教師なども。My mother was born in local town and experienced Manchuria, Tsunami, WWII bombing, then 'Give me chocolate' period. She has been a hard worker. She graduated from a university, majored English language, that was rare in her time. Once kids became less troublesome, she started to learn German by herself and eventually got German language teaching license in Germany. She also got license of interpreter as well as license of English teacher. She then earned a money for our education by serving as interpreter including German interpreter for German team at international motorbike racing in Suzuka circuit. She taught Japanese at German embassy. She also taught English at night school.
中学生のころ、英語とドイツ語を流暢に話す母を見て、魔法のように感じた。こんなことが出来る頭脳がいずれ失われるのは人類の損失だと心から思った。By seeing my mother speak English and German fluent, I seriously thought it is a magic when I was a junior high school student. I thought it will be a great loss for human being to lose a brain that can do this amazing thing.
母はまた相場観があり、高度成長期前の地方都市に宅地を購入、その宅地はその後数十倍に化けた。My mother has sense of market timing also such as purchase of small piece of land in local city right before the rapid growth period of Japan. Later, the price of that piece of land jumped far more than ten times.
ドイツ人のグループとアジアの国を旅行をするのも好きだった。地元のオーケストラに第二バイオリンで熱心に参加していた。She also loved to have tour around Asian countries with group of Germans. She has been enthusiastically playing 2nd violin in local orchestra.
でも、そんな活力に溢れた母も、８０歳を過ぎてから気力・体力が急激に衰えて来た。脳神経科の医師は加齢によるアミロイドベータが原因だと憶測、副作用が強い投薬を繰り返す。医師はまた、老人医療は症状治療法が確立せず、勢い加齢によるものと主張し続ける。Although she has been so energetic, after 80 years old, we could see her motivation and energy started to slow down sharp. Neuro surgeon kept prescribing drugs with strong side effects and kept saying that all came from aging that caused amyloid beta without any medical evidence. They only kept saying that it comes from aging but there is no cure.
今から考えると、長期にわたる脳神経系の複数の薬が心身を弱体化させたと思っている。いつものとおり、医師は単に一人のアドバイザーとして捉えるべきで、妄信することは死と同値だ。When I recall, long time constant multiple dosing of neuro related drugs worked adverse for her body and soul. As an universal rule, doctors should be used as only one adviser. 'Blind dependence on one doctor' is a synonym of death.
しかし私はそんな母を横目に見ながら、もっぱらみずからの子育てを言い訳に、母の気力、体力の減退の原因追及は高齢の父に任せきりだったのは悔やみきれない。Although seeing such status of my mother once in a while, due to the care of my own kids as an excuse, I have been stupid enough to left the investigation of the cause of my mother's body/mental slowdown in the hands of my father only, who is totally energetic in his age but still already very old in age.
そして母は先週、８０代半ばで、亡くなってしまった。小さな時から問題児だった私をひたすら「憎まれっ子世に憚る」、と応援してくれた母を思い出すと涙が止まらない。高度成長期の大気汚染の中での気管支喘息、アレルギー性鼻炎など、医療費が生活費を食いつぶしていったが母は頑張った。亡くなる数か月前までも、「ちゃんと稼いで来い」と叱咤激励された。米国留学出発の見送りで涙しながら手を振ってくれた母の姿が忘れられない。Then sadly, in mid 80, my mother passed away finally. Tears never stop when I recall my mother cheering myself, who was a problem kid, saying that 'problem kids will eventually prevail over the world'. In the middle of Japan's rapid growth, air pollution was at its peak causing asthma everywhere including myself with lots of medical bill piling up to kill household budget however, my mother stood still against such ordeal. Even until few month ago, she has been scolding and encouraging myself saying 'earn as much as you can'. Her waving with tears when she saw me off for study abroad in US is really unforgettable.
お骨の量は６０代相当ということで、あと２０年は生きられたかもしれないと考えると断腸の思いだ。私がもっとよく見ていればよかったと後悔しても始まらない。母の日も、誕生日も、昨年が最後になった。Knowing that the amount of her bone was equivalent to 60yrs old, means she could live 20yrs longer, I am full of regret. It is too late to regret that I should have more look on the transition of health of my mother. Last year's Mother's day and birthday now became the last days I could celebrate.
